I have been out of town, and it wouldn't have been so easy blogging from my phone, so I am going to do some "catching up".
Friday night I was thankful for my mom's help with the kids. It gets a little crazy when we go to Greenville as it is, but being in a house other than our own and not having the same schedule can make it even more difficult. I find this to be especially true at night. The bedtime routine here at the house is so easy with the kids-not so much when we all share a room. So, mom was a huge help in taking care of one while I was trying to get the other to sleep. zzz
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Saturday was an extremely busy day, but I was constantly reminded of the September 11 attacks that happened. I remember exactly what I was doing on that day, especially watching coverage after the first plane crashed then seeing the second one come on live tv. I remember thinking, "ok did they just replay the first one? Did that REALLY just happen?" The events of that day are still just as sad and disgusting as they were 9 years ago. I will forever remember and be grateful to the men and women who have died for this country, whether it be innocent victims in a terrorist attack or fellow citizens who volunteer the chance of death for my freedom.
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And tonight, I am remembering my Grandmother, who passed away 1 year ago today. I feel that over the last few years of her life, I was able to enjoy her the most. We were able to sympathize with each other in loneliness and leaning on the Lord for comfort, and we were able to disagree and have our opinions, but this time discuss them with an understanding that we were both adults. It seems she physically battled everything possible for years and years. She was so ready to go home [to heaven], especially after my Grandpa died, but the Lord wasn't ready for her. I remember so many Sundays when I would take her home after lunch where we would talk about things that I wished we could have talked about years before. When it came down to her last days, it seemed to be such a slow and unfair way to die. We all knew the day was coming, but in knowing you cannot be prepared or lessen the suffering in a physical sense. I am fully confident that my Grandma knew the comforting of the Holy Spirit as she was so close to the end.
I was already living in Charleston this time last year, and ended up making a few trips to see her "one last time". But, the last trip that I made before she passed, I knew would be the final time I would see her. I was able to make it to Greenville the night before she passed away. My Aunt had to help me understand some things Grandma was trying to say, but she was clearly slipping away. Sitting in there on her bed, so lifeless, was the hardest thing. Anyone who knew my Grandma knew that if she had a choice she would NOT have been laying in the bed. She was a very active lady with a ton of energy. As I sat there, crying and trying to talk to her one last time, it hit me that the further away from me she was, the closer she was to the Lord. At that moment I had such a strong desire to be in the room when it was finally time for Him to take her home. How amazing would that be to be as close as humanly possible to The One who guides my every step???? To The One that forgave me and continues to forgive me. To The One that died for ME. It was an incredible thought that I will never forget, and that night I felt the reality of passing from this life to the next more than ever. My Grandma ended up passing away the next morning. Tonight I am thankful for the memories that I have from her last years here, her salvation and peace in her passing, and the true presence of Him that I felt even through her death.
"For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul"
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