So I am really feeling strong thankfulness for being DONE with the clothes for the consignment sale tomorrow. Talk about last minute.. deadline was 9 pm and thats about when the kids and I got home. =/ But, those of you who know me probably aren't a bit surprised.

Although that feels like a huge stress lifted, I have something else on my mind tonight that I think I would like to write about as well.

Kendal's dad and I had to discuss something today. One thing led to another and things just seemed to get way out of hand. Insults, opinions, and digging up the past combined with being defensive are never a good combo. So, needless to say it got a little ugly. During our conversation, after things settled down.. we ended up apologizing to each other, and it hit me that I had forgiven him a long time ago for what he had done. Because of that, I have no hard feelings towards him, maintain a civil relationship, and I am able to respect him as Kendal's father. Being able to forgive people in your life is HUGE! Holding a grudge can be so damaging and consuming, and it is really such a waste of time. The Lord is a perfect example of forgiving, and I have felt it first-hand. Tonight I am thankful for grace to forgive and the fact that I have moved on in my life.

"(12) Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, (13) bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. (14) And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony."

Colossians 3:12-14

Long day today, and definitely a Monday. I should add to that, definitely a Monday after a Sunday of traveling back home from Greenville. Carson was completely ridiculous today and I think having to get back into the normal routine after a weekend away partly contributed.

Right now, I would like to talk about an amazing drink. I don't think I am necessarily addicted to the taste or the caffeine, but to the comfort that it seems to bring. The smell is calming in itself, but knowing I have some of that delicious International Delight creamer that I am about to add to it just makes it all the better. I have been sipping ever so slowly, enjoying the quiet in the office with Brad, while organizing and catching up on some things. I could top every night off with this stuff. Tonight, I am thankful for the one and only COFFEE! =)

It is well with my soul.

I have been out of town, and it wouldn't have been so easy blogging from my phone, so I am going to do some "catching up".

Friday night I was thankful for my mom's help with the kids. It gets a little crazy when we go to Greenville as it is, but being in a house other than our own and not having the same schedule can make it even more difficult. I find this to be especially true at night. The bedtime routine here at the house is so easy with the kids-not so much when we all share a room. So, mom was a huge help in taking care of one while I was trying to get the other to sleep. zzz

*******

Saturday was an extremely busy day, but I was constantly reminded of the September 11 attacks that happened. I remember exactly what I was doing on that day, especially watching coverage after the first plane crashed then seeing the second one come on live tv. I remember thinking, "ok did they just replay the first one? Did that REALLY just happen?" The events of that day are still just as sad and disgusting as they were 9 years ago. I will forever remember and be grateful to the men and women who have died for this country, whether it be innocent victims in a terrorist attack or fellow citizens who volunteer the chance of death for my freedom.

*******

And tonight, I am remembering my Grandmother, who passed away 1 year ago today. I feel that over the last few years of her life, I was able to enjoy her the most. We were able to sympathize with each other in loneliness and leaning on the Lord for comfort, and we were able to disagree and have our opinions, but this time discuss them with an understanding that we were both adults. It seems she physically battled everything possible for years and years. She was so ready to go home [to heaven], especially after my Grandpa died, but the Lord wasn't ready for her. I remember so many Sundays when I would take her home after lunch where we would talk about things that I wished we could have talked about years before. When it came down to her last days, it seemed to be such a slow and unfair way to die. We all knew the day was coming, but in knowing you cannot be prepared or lessen the suffering in a physical sense. I am fully confident that my Grandma knew the comforting of the Holy Spirit as she was so close to the end.

I was already living in Charleston this time last year, and ended up making a few trips to see her "one last time". But, the last trip that I made before she passed, I knew would be the final time I would see her. I was able to make it to Greenville the night before she passed away. My Aunt had to help me understand some things Grandma was trying to say, but she was clearly slipping away. Sitting in there on her bed, so lifeless, was the hardest thing. Anyone who knew my Grandma knew that if she had a choice she would NOT have been laying in the bed. She was a very active lady with a ton of energy. As I sat there, crying and trying to talk to her one last time, it hit me that the further away from me she was, the closer she was to the Lord. At that moment I had such a strong desire to be in the room when it was finally time for Him to take her home. How amazing would that be to be as close as humanly possible to The One who guides my every step???? To The One that forgave me and continues to forgive me. To The One that died for ME. It was an incredible thought that I will never forget, and that night I felt the reality of passing from this life to the next more than ever. My Grandma ended up passing away the next morning. Tonight I am thankful for the memories that I have from her last years here, her salvation and peace in her passing, and the true presence of Him that I felt even through her death.

"For me, be it Christ, be it Christ hence to live:
If Jordan above me shall roll,
No pang shall be mine, for in death as in life,
Thou wilt whisper Thy peace to my soul"

This is going to be short and sweet. Once again, I feel like I have nothing to show for today, and I am too tired to do anything. I am going to look over the kids stuff and sign what I need to for their school but that is it! Proud of myself for keeping up with this, but I don't feel so inspired right now.. =/ But, this was all part of the challenge right? No matter how hard the day is, to always find something to be thankful for at the end of it all! Wow, I think I am starting to see the benefits of this. =)

Tonight I am thankful for how the Lord is opening up new doors for Happily Ever After Me; whether it is a random person coming across my site on the web, people I have met through Brad, relatives of friends, people who I come across in my every day happenings, or great supportive friends. I have now sold books in OH, GA, VA, PA, NY, and SC. The word is spreading, and my books are getting out there! This is SO exciting considering the fact that a little over a year ago, HEAM was just a thought. I am amazed at how much it is growing and how the word is spreading. The Lord has provided a consistent flow of work for me, and even some designing projects on the side. I am so thankful that what was once a thought and idea that I was entertaining, is now a reality and something that I love and am proud of!

It seems that I have been waking up to everything that I didn't do the night before lately. Everything has felt so rushed, and crammed, and last minute. Unfortunately, blogging was included in that pile last night.

I am sitting here trying to remember what I was thankful for yesterday, everything feels like such a blur right now!!

Thinking back on the craziness of this week, I would have to say that I am thankful for Brad taking the time off of work to help watch 1 or all of the kids while I go to my various appointments and such. I really am thankful that he is able to take time off of work or work from home, and that he is willing. It is hard being here with out the help of my mom at times, or being able to ask Steph if she could watch one of them for a little bit. I am still getting used to not working full time. At least when I left work, the kids were still being taken care of and it was just me, doing what I needed to do before it was time to pick them up and go home. Definitely an adjustment taking everyone with me, that is for sure.

So, all of this to say.. thank you, Brad, for all of your help this week!! I love you very much.

6:30 AM: Alarm on my phone goes off.

Wake up, get out of bed, get ready, wake Kendal up, help get Kendal ready for school, take Kendal to school, come back home, fix coffee, wake Carson up, get Carson ready for his first day of preschool, go with Carson and stay for orientation and his first day, race Carson back to the car and he ends up with 2 bloody knees =( come back home and look at the coffee that I never drank but threw in the fridge, fold some clothes and feed Ryleigh-Ann, go to lunch, get groceries at Walmart, change a nasty diaper that required a change of clothes [in the car in Walmart parking lot], put away groceries while Brad gets Kendal, get Kendal ready for her ortho appt, look at my coffee in the fridge again that I still haven't been able to drink, go to Kendal's appointment, fill out a ton of paperwork, talk about $$$, remember that we have a Brownie meeting in an hour when we get home, feed Ry and think about dinner, go to Brownie meeting at K's school, meet a neighbor there that I have wanted to meet for a while [she happened to sit at the table with me, and we had no clue we lived 4 houses apart at first!], fill out another pile of paperwork, $$$, get gas, wait for the train to pass, come back home [7:30], make K a sandwich, help K with homework, talk about how Brad and I haven't had dinner, look at my coffee still sitting in the fridge, feed Ryleigh, put Carson to bed, look over K's papers from school, put K to bed, clean up paint stuff, think about my blog-but only after I think about dinner and that stinkin coffee again, write in my blog because if I don't now it is not going to happen tonight, think about my coffee.

Tonight I am thankful for advil, which I am about to take, after I decide if it is that coffee or dinner that I actually want before I go to bed.

Tonight I am thankful for being clean. But this isn't just ANY clean, this is stand in the scaulding hot water for 15 minutes while I listen to NOTHING clean.

No wiping off the shower door with my hand every 10 seconds to see if Ryleigh-Ann [who has been strategically placed in the bathroom doorway] is ok.

No jumping out really fast to try to console a crying Ryleigh-Ann if she isn't ok.

No half wet hair or half shaved legs because I have realized that this "shower thing" just isn't working right now.

No locking the door to be left alone, only to have a 3 year old little boy crying and screaming for me to let him in, the whole entire time. Yeah, thats always enjoyable.

No 3 year old little boy running in and out, or opening and closing the door, or trying to throw toys in with me if I decide NOT to lock the door to get 10 seconds of peace.

Just me and the bathroom walls that need to be painted. Yes, I think about how I would decorate my bathroom every time I am in there. Funny how you think about everything when you are in the shower... thankful I had the quiet to think. As much as I would rather have been in bed, there isn't much I can complain about on this subject tonight. =)

Today was a busy day in our house, and we did a little rearranging to say the least. Since I was finally able to finish painting Carson's room, it was time to do an upgrade to his bed as well. The plan was to move Kendal's full bed into Carson's room, give Kendal the queen bed from the guest room, and move the crib [aka Carson's security] into the guest room which is now the beginning of a nursery. [whew!] So today we moved all 3 of the beds, changed some sheets around, added new one's, washed everything, and we still aren't done. But as I am writing this tonight, there are 2 sleeping little people upstairs, content in their new beds.

I am SO thankful for this! I am not really concerned about Ry because she could probably care less that her sleeping arrangements have changed, but Carson would know the difference. And if his "knowing the difference" was anything like last time we changed his crib by taking the front off, this was not going to be a fun night. Ryleigh-Ann was asleep by 8:15! Brad ended up feeding her in her new room and rocking her to sleep. She was able to eat until her little heart was content, and then fall peacefully asleep with daddy and the dark with no brother or sister interruptions. Carson fought me a little more than normal tonight, but we ended the night with our usual "1,2,3 JUMP!" [into the bed, and having the pillow landing perfected], then he asks "does that have tape on it?" [the smoke detector light], and finishes with a final, "is me gonna wake up?" =)

What an easy transition. Sleeping babies in new beds make me thankful!

Sort of having a hard time focusing tonight because all I have going through my head at the moment are the clothes in the washer that I previously washed with a diaper. I am wondering if they are in there waiting for me the same way they were before with all of the diaper beads and everything. What a pain, but completely my fault.

It seems I have been painting ALL daaay looooong. I have had this idea for Carson's room to paint a blue sky and clouds for months. I got my inspiration from these pictures we bought for him when he was a baby, and all of that started from his crib bedding that was given to us when he was first born. So, he was always destined to have a plane room. I love walking up there and seeing a "fun" room for my kids. I want them to look at things that I do for them and think "wow that is so cool!" That makes me smile. =) Tonight I am thankful for being able to paint my kids rooms and be creative any way that I want. I am thankful that it is done, and now my little Carson man has a really cool airplane room.

As he would say, "It makes my heart happy." =)

So today is Friday and the kid's weekend away. Carson is here with us because his dad had to work, but Kendal is in Columbia until Monday. I hate it for Carson's dad, but I am happy C is with us this weekend, especially since he is sick. Although it is nice getting a "break", I won't ever be completely happy that they are gone. There are a lot of things about them having a whole other "life" so to speak that bother me, but that would be a full year of blog posts if I began to list those in detail. [which means I would probably finish in 10 lol]

Kendal and I have been doing the driving deal every other weekend now for almost 6 years [half way to Columbia]. After we moved to Charleston we have had to drive all the way to Columbia to meet his dad, so that works out nicely for Kendal's dad. [ugh] =) If we aren't driving to Columbia every other weekend, it seems that we are back in Greenville. Basically we do A LOT of driving. It is always sobering passing a cross on the road, or [as aggrivating as it is] being stuck in traffic and delayed for hours then passing the horrific accident that stalled everyone for so long. At that moment, it seems like all of the annoyance and aggrivation of the last hour in the car is nothing compared to the loss that particular family will be suffering for the rest of their lives. I specifically remember one REALLY bad storm that I was driving through on the way to drop the kids off one night. I was in the left lane, thankfully slowed down more than normal because of the rain, and I suddenly realized there was a huge branch laying on the road in front of me. I was able to slow down enough where I didn't do any damage to the car, but I had no choice at that point. It was either drive into the other lane and hit the car next to me or swerve off of the road. After I passed it, I was wanting so badly to tell everyone behind me because I just knew that someone was going to get in an accident because of it. Sure enough, on the way back home, a vehicle was flipped upside down in the trees between the Highway. I felt so sick, and I just knew in my heart that was where the branch was. To this day I will never know the details of that accident, but I know that could have very well been me.

Late last night I was commenting on a FB friends status, and she explained to me that the meaning behind it was because of a friends death earlier in the week due to a car accident. Her friend left behind 3 young children and a husband. Some of you might have seen my status asking to pray about it earlier today. I can't imagine going through something like that. But even the reality of it happening hit home again tonight while Brad and the kids were out on the road.

In the 6 years that we have been driving back and forth every other weekend, we have not had one incident; whether it be a flat tire, a broken down car, running out of gas, or an accident. As I sit here tonight, safety on the road and traveling mercies are what I am thankful for!!

YAY! I am actually posting the night right after my last post!! =) Recently Brad and I went on a vacation to celebrate my 29th birthday and our 2 year anniversary. It was beautiful and I am so thankful for his parents watching the kids and making the trip possible for us. Thats it. Its late, I smell like spit up, the end.

Ok jk, I guess tonight will have two "thankfuls" in it so maybe that can count for one of the 200 days I just skipped. But back to the trip... It was the most relaxing time we have had in a while and although we were anxious to see the kids, we could have stayed until it was time to celebrate our 3rd anniversary. =)

It seems like when we came back home, reality through everything at us all at once. Both of the girls have been sick, Carson has started acting like a baby again [and he is now sick], the stress of the little people, bills, work, big people, and just life in general is back. Stress tends to effect us, whether it be our thoughts, words, attitude, or pretty much will to get up out of bed on a particular day [haha], but it can also have an impact on your relationship with your spouse. Some cross words were exchanged, and some scary glares along with faces behind his back, and maybe some shaking of the head as if to mimic what the other person is saying... maybe... but at the end of the day Brad and I were able to sit on the couch and have an awesome talk where we worked some things out and had more of an understanding on the issue. I love being married to a drama-free man who is willing to admit when he is wrong and still love me when I am always right. Ok, still love me when I am wrong too. =) I am thankful for that.

So obviously I am no good at this blogging stuff. OBVIOUSLY. But after many days of thinking that I need to catch up [many weeks is more like it], I am back on here being thankful. Let me just say that it is much easier being thankful in spirit than in blog. Finding the time to write something down after the kids are in bed every night seems near impossible. I guess that is the case with anything when the only place you want to be is in dreamland like those sweet little babies of yours. Right now I am thinking about all of the other things that I could be doing, that I SHOULD be doing. But I think being thankful should take top priority or maybe I should say unsuccessfully [wow thats a long word]completing my "Thankfully Challenged" challenge to myself should be top priority [haha]. Does someone else want to challenge me? I am not a very good self-challenger at this point. Speaking of points, enough already.. let me get to mine.

One of the hardest things that I am having to learn to do is raise a child whose father is not the same man that I am married to. It is quite the test of character when dealing with certain issues with someone who you have a child with, but know hardly anything about. I am sure that this is only the beginning. There have been major disagreements at times, and moments when I just knew we were never going to be able to get along. But, that is when the selfishness has to be pushed aside and those big brown eyes looking up at me remind me that he is most important. [my son] I would do anything for that little boy, including swallowing my pride and tolerating his dad no matter how much I might dislike him or disagree with him at the time. Since he has been in Carson's life, our relationship has always been civil. Brad being in the picture has helped tremendously I must say, but it ultimately comes down to Carson's father and I knowing that Carson is most important. With all of that being said, I received a phone call from him today saying that he would like to pay the full tuition this month for Carson's preschool, which he starts next week. Of course I was surprised and very appreciative, but after our conversation I had to stop and think about how many children with split parents probably wish they would get along. Carson's father and I have nothing set up through the court, meet every other weekend when he doesn't have to work, and most of all we communicate with eachother. I have a great relationship with him, and for that, I am thankful!!